Copyright © 2012 Jerry Dunne
A good saying often expresses wisdom or truth in a witty or ironic way. Usually, the first clause of the saying sets the reader up for an expectation that is not met in the second clause. Instead, we get something unexpected – a twist. The effect is to jolt the reader into seeing the wisdom or truth of the saying in a way that they would not otherwise see. The truth may not be something obvious, just alluded to; often it is an unconscious, unspoken truth, one only really ever brought to light through the process of wit or irony, which then gives it a powerful voice.
In this post, we are going to think of these kinds of sayings as a means of inspiration for credible, insightful and original ideas for short stories. First, we will analyse a saying for the sole purpose of using it as a guide for developing ideas for a short story; then we will create a plan for a story based on these ideas; and finally we will write the story itself – here a piece of flash fiction (1,000 words or less). This way the reader can see the whole process at work in a single go.
Note: this post does not go into short story/flash fiction plot structure.
Analysing the saying
Pick a good saying! For our purpose, the best contain strong story telling elements. So choose one with character, conflict potential, irony, (often combined with the twist), humour, and conflict. Drama might be hinted at. Some sayings have a strong, obvious theme; with others it’s flexible. Either way is fine. Setting is not important in the saying because strong character and conflict will easily find their feet in a variety of settings; though the following saying offers an obvious setting.
On passing a graveyard, I am always reminded of one of life’s great tragedies: headstones are full of dull facts and second-rate poetry.
Now let’s look closely at it! Why did I choose it? Has it character, conflict potential, irony, humour, a twist, drama, a theme, a setting? It certainly has most of these elements with the rest hinted at.
Take character first. It is in the first person, which is promising. This first-person point of view challenges convention by making an attack on a single but important aspect surrounding the tradition of respecting and remembering the dead. Is he mocking the convention or not? Well, whatever his intention, he has grabbed our attention.
What about conflict? At first sight – none. But remember we’re studying it as a means to developing a short story idea. The character’s perspective is at great odds with the convention he is criticising. Therefore, the potential for conflict is huge. One example: supposing he expressed his opinion out loud at a sensitive moment, like during a burial?
Let’s look at irony, humour and the twist together. In the first clause you are being set up to think that the second clause will deliver something big and meaningful about our mortal existence: On passing a graveyard, I am always reminded of one of life’s great tragedies. Instead, ironically, the second clause gives us something seemingly petty and irrelevant: headstones are full of dull facts and second-rate poetry. Suddenly, we are thrown into a spin. The second clause is so sudden, unexpected and irreverent that it makes us laugh. It is a twist of dry humour status. But possibly this second clause is not saying something petty, but something meaningful. Perhaps there is yet more irony here. This sort of stuff certainly gives us thoughts for the story.
Does the saying have drama? Drama is conflict which involves moral choices fuelling the conflict. If we look at what we said about conflict, and we consider there might be moral questions involved in this conflict, and it is highly probable that will be the case, then the potential for drama is clear.
Theme is a tricky one. Many themes might spring to mind here. So whatever theme you may read into the saying, it obviously doesn’t have to be the same theme that emerges from the story. So let’s leave theme alone for now and return to it at the end of the story.
The setting doesn’t have to be in or near a graveyard. But it’s an obvious choice here.
Now plan a short story based on the saying’s analysis
Remember that the most important thing about the saying is that it acts as a source of inspiration for credible, insightful and original ideas. You don’t have to stick closely to your analysis of the saying for your story’s plan. If it prompts something very different and preferable for you, then go for it! Just make sure your plan includes the basic plot points. We must have a contrast between at least two strong characters in order to create the conflict and ratchet up the tension throughout the story before ending it in a twist.
Here’s the plan.
A new couple are visiting her grandma’s grave. He’s a poet; she likes his dry sense of humour. He empathises with her story regarding her grandma’s last months. Her story is touching and poignant, revealing good and enduring memories of her grandmother.
But when he reads her grandma’s headstone, something alarms him. He reads a neighbouring headstone, and his alarm increases.
She sees him upset. Talk about her grandmother and the surrounding cemetery have brought back sad memories for him, she thinks. He denies this, wants her to stop focussing on him. He asks her to continue telling him about her grandmother.
Finally, they start to retrace their steps. Sometimes they stop and she reads out loud from headstones. This really causes him discomfort. She’s aware of his discomfort and wants him to confide in her. She feels it’s related to a past tragedy of his. But he doesn’t want to tell her the truth of what’s causing his discomfort. It’s her time, her moment, her visit to her grandmother’s grave, and he feels she’d find him shallow or trying to be too clever if he told her the truth. But he feels pressured into saying something; so to explain his discomfort he spins a tale about an old flame dying tragically young.
She accepts this lie, though thinks his discomfort is evidence he’s not over his old flame. The lie makes him feel bad, but at least she’s off his back about the true root of his discomfort. Or so he thinks. Soon she reminds him of something he told her that seems to contradict part of his lie. Caught in the headlights of his lie, he has a moment of panic. But he keeps his cool and manages to bluff it out.
Outside the cemetery again, the reader finds out what’s really on his mind. Her grandmother’s story was beautiful. Why wasn’t it on the grave showing the sort of woman she was? Why not the same sort of thing on the other headstones, too? Imagine that! An individual story on every headstone, keeping poignantly alive the memory of those buried beneath. Instead, all these dead souls are condemned to an eternity of dull facts and second rate poetry by their headstones. As a poet, it broke his heart to see it.
Now here is the flash story
Headstones
Entering the cemetery, she smiled and squeezed his hand. “I might get a little emotional.”
“I’d be alarmed if you didn’t.”
She laughed. “I like that about you.” He raised an eyebrow. “Your dry sense of humour. Poets don’t usually do humour well.” Now both his eyebrows arched. “I’ve dated poets before. They’re so intense. Maybe all that profound writing makes them so. Or maybe it’s the other way round.”
“I might be just like them and you don’t know me well enough yet,” he said, but giving her a big smile.
She placed some roses on her grandmother’s grave, and said, “I was just ten. I’d spent the whole summer holidays with her… then in the autumn… she’d been sick for a while. She always… had a smile… I never suspected. Yet she was in daily pain. My God! She was dying and I… was playing carefree each day. Mother… both decided my holiday mustn’t be spoiled… her final days with me would be happy ones.” A tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away. “Sorry.”
He took her in his arms. Over her shoulder, his eyes focussed on her grandmother’s headstone.
“Grandma was knitting me a jumper. Evenings, I’d watch her for hours mixing colours into the pattern, the coloured balls of wool resting in my hands. The jumper has a wonderful Celtic design, incredibly difficult to get right. But it fit me beautifully, the pattern flawless. It smelt wonderful, felt so soft. I outgrew it too quickly. I still have it. One day, my daughter will wear it, if… It will link her to grandma.”
His eyes fixed on the headstone, a frown creased his brow.
“I can still remember her knitting needle going through its movements over and over, never slowing or tiring, reminding me of the workings of a clock. I thought she’d go on knitting forever. I often fell asleep watching her, the wool still in my hands. Looking back, I see she so much wanted to finish it! The last thing she would knit… her parting gift to me.”
She fell silent. His eyes strayed to a neighbouring headstone. His frown deepened.
She pulled away from him, smiling awkwardly. “Told you I might get a little emotional.”
He just nodded now, glancing at the headstone the other side of her grandmother’s grave. A dull light filled his eyes.
“I’ve upset you,” she said. “I never thought about your life, your past sadness. My own, this place, reminds you of yours.”
Colour rose to his cheeks. “No.”
She stroked his cheek and studied his eyes. His colour deepened.
“Tell me more about your grandmother!”
For several moments, she kept her eyes on him. Then she turned back to the headstone, recounting more.
Finally, linking her arm in his, they began retracing their steps.
They paused at several headstones, she reading out loud from them. At the first, he pulled at his shirt collar; the second time, at the corners of his mouth. At the third, a sad, almost weary sigh escaped him.
She gazed at him. “You’re thinking of the past. Someone dear to you.”
He tightened his jaw. “It’s just that…” then clamped his mouth shut.
She pushed him, “Yes?”
He shook his head. Why had he opened his mouth? Now he’d whetted her curiosity. He struggled unsuccessfully to prevent more colour flooding his cheeks. She stroked his hand. Her eyes shone brighter, expectantly. She wanted a return for her own display of emotion. As a poet, surely he understood, he could almost hear her say. If he refused, she’d never forget. It would sit between them like an unpaid debt. He’d become that kind of man to her, the kind who kept his emotions buried.
“What happened?” she asked so softly and so openly it would have been bad mannered not to give her something.
“An old flame,” he lied, turning to another headstone. He winced, a genuine gesture. “She died too young.” He inhaled and exhaled hard. “I’m over her, but here…”
“Past tragedies are like ghosts haunting us.”
He almost choked on his next breath. Now she thought he was not over this non-existent dead woman.
“It’s just this place,” he said.
“How long since she died?”
“Four years.”
“I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
Feeling on safer ground, he said, “I wanted to come.”
Suddenly, his body felt drained of energy. He should have just told her! He swallowed, feeling his throat tight, painful. But could he take the risk of offending her? This visit was about her, not him and his dry sense of humour. Too late now, anyway; he’d committed himself to a lie. Why had she pushed him into it? He felt dishonest, hollow. Would her own insecurities make her pick at this thread of a dead girlfriend? She thought he’d not got over her. Yes, she would pick away at it, try to unravel it.
Outside the graveyard, she began picking at the thread, “But you were in Germany four years ago.”
He froze for a second, unable to swallow, his mind whirling. “That’s right. Yes, I was. She was German.”
A moment’s pause then, “Oh!”
He glanced back.
What a beautiful little tale! Why wasn’t it on the headstone? It had brought her grandmother back to life. Imagine a story like it on every headstone, each different to the others! With such a rich source of character and story, writers would haunt graveyards for inspiration.
If he’d told her what was really on his mind, he was certain now she’d have thought him shallow, a spoiler. His humour didn’t count here. Yet he wasn’t meaning to be funny. He had a serious question to ask: if the living thought so much of their dearly departed, then why condemn them by their headstones to an eternity of dull facts and second-rate poetry? As a poet, it broke his heart to see it.
So what’s the theme?
The story’s emotional journey revolves around him and not her, which leads us onto theme. First let’s see what happened! She opens herself up to him; he makes an attempt to sympathise and manages it until he gets easily distracted. The dull facts and second–rate poetry on the headstones distract and disturb this poet. Sure he’s pretentious, but so what? That’s his character! The fact he gets easily distracted in the midst of her sad recollections here offers us an insight about everyman. No matter the tragedy seeking our attention and sympathy, if it is not our personal tragedy, is it not true that we quickly lose our concentration concerning it even by minor, trivial distractions? So perhaps here’s the story’s theme: it’s hard to concentrate for long on sadness or suffering that isn’t ours.
We already know and have indeed prepared for the twist so it won’t hit us as it should someone reading it fresh. The whole story is set up for the twist and it comes with the force of a punchline. This makes it unexpected, shocking and funny. But it also has a ring of truth about it. Doesn’t it? Headstones are actually full of dull facts and second-rate poetry. Perhaps the story hints at a second theme.
Other types of stories
We used the saying as a guide to lead us into the story. Of course, once the story starts, we must be flexible because although the saying offers us strong reference points with which to build on, they are still only reference points or guidelines. I could have easily written another type of story here; for instance, a more physical one where the opinion regarding headstones results in a family squabble at the graveside. Someone might honestly express an opinion about all headstones but another family member takes it as a personal insult about this particular headstone which they themselves chose. Phrases like, ‘Nothing I ever do is good enough for you,’ or ‘Well don’t worry! I certainly know what to put on your headstone when you die. And it won’t be a lot of dull facts and second-rate poetry, as you call it’ could fly thick and fast. Interpersonal family grievances could be pulled into the row or just hinted at, depending on the length and type of story you want to write. It could be serious or comedy, for example. You are free as a writer to travel in any direction that you and your imagination fancy.
Summing up!
A good saying carries some of the important elements of the short story. You just need to know how to analyse the saying in order to unravel these elements and then recycle them for short story use. Many good sayings resonate with universal truths not often expressed anywhere else, and often the truth is not stated in a matter-of-fact way, but delivered with wit and irony, or delivered in a backhanded way, often hinted at, rather than spoon fed to the reader. This allows for a lot of flexibility in the interpretation aimed at the story’s plan.
From now on, you will see sayings not just as an end in themselves but as part and parcel of a cookie jar full of inspiring goodies into which you can dip your paw whenever the fancy takes you.
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Similar techniques to those shown above but regarding a ‘saying’ as inspiration for developing original short story ideas can be found here: How to develop credible and insightful short story ideas from a fable
For far more of this sort of stuff check out my book How to Develop (Imaginative, Insightful & Credible) Short Story Ideas, by Jerry Dunne
Links:
How to create a saying
How to write a modern fable for the adult reader
How to develop credible and insightful short story ideas from a fable
How to develop an original fantasy idea
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